I can see how so many people, old and young alike, become depressed. I blame so much of mine on ex-boyfriends and ex-husband, but I do not discount my input as well.. When you are told over and over again you are nothing without them and they can always "one-up" you, you begin the downward spiral into feeling sorry for yourself. I never felt worthy to be married. I sometimes question if I was a good mother; I still question that.
Fast forward to 2023 when I turned 70.
My perspective of myself has not gotten any better. This year I also lost my “soulmate “. I realize now that I became what she needed me to be. So it appears to me that this is a habit I seem to follow with friends and family around me. I guess this allows me to accept or tolerate any number of situations I find myself in. So now that I live y myself with no significant other I don’t know how to act. I see this doesn’t allow me to be genuine with my granddaughters. I seem to not be able to relate to them as my grandmother did with me. Or, maybe I am like my grandmother Smith. This causes me much distress and I feel I may never be able to communicate with them as I would like.
If they ever have the opportunity to read this they will know me a little better and maybe I will get past this block I have in my mind. Anybody have any suggestions?
